The fact is that your friendships are the bedrock of your future or current relationships. If you’d like a good idea of what kind of boyfriend you are, will be, or will attract, look at your current circle of friends.
Friendships are the playground of relationships. How you activate, how you listen, how you communicate, how vulnerable you allow yourself to become are all played out in full force during your friendships. And, fun fact, the closer you allow your friendships to become, the more enriched your relationship will be. IJS.
Either way you slice it, the path to adulthood, dating, and relationship is paved with close connections to people who can tell you the truth, let you know when you fucked something up, and cheer you on through your trials. But any good circle of friends, regardless of how many people are in it, will have some key players.
The $50 Friend
Have you ever been in a predicament. Perhaps you overpaid a bill, or switched some dates up on a transfer. At any rate, you run low on cash until next Friday. In these moments, you need a $50 friend
This is the friend who you can call and ask for $50 and they give it to you without question. That is, before you hang up the phone, your cash app is going off. This is not the friend who is going to plague you with 50 questions about when they’re going to get it back and how you got into this financial mess in the first place. This is the friend that understands shit happens and will stand in your corner nonetheless.
The $50 friend isn’t an on-demand ATM. The real reason the $50 friend is necessary is because (1) you have to have good enough integrity with them that they don’t have to question when the $50 is coming back to them. Then (2) they have ample enough resource where they aren’t going to miss $50 for a few days; we all can’t be the broke bestie. And (3) they have confidence that, if the tables were turned, you’d be as eager to help them as they are to help you. The $50 friend is as much a marker of a being a good friend as it is of having good friends.
Ever been in the club and somebody steps on your fresh white kicks. You have to have that friend that will see your blemished shoes and be ready to fight. You don’t need hot head friends, but you do need friends who can and will activate.
Oprah talks of when she first got into real money. She was cruising with her bestie, Gayle King. Saw a Bentley she wanted so they stopped and Gayle was there haggling with the salesman while Oprah was trying to drop the Black AMEX and be on their way. Every one needs that friend that will activate as much as or even more than you would.
The Hospital Friend
Don’t let the title fool you. This isn’t the friend that comes to visit you in the hospital. This is the friend that is there with you when everyone else comes to visit you.
Sometimes you can’t advocate for yourself. Maybe you’re laid up in a hospital. The Hospital Friend is the one that protects your integrity when you can’t protect it yourself. When the rest of the group is dragging you through the mud, this is the person that stands in your corner. Just like if you were in a coma, this is the person who knows your wishes, knows how you would want to be represented, and carries out your plan, especially when you can’t.
The Jail Friend
Sometimes, we don’t want to be composed, or calculated. Sometimes a bitch must be beaten with a bottle. The Jail Friend is the one going to jail right along with you. The epicenter of the turn up; they’re usually the life of the party.
Assuming you’ve got your friend circle in check, when shit happens, say, boyfriend is caught cheating, you’ll turn to The Fighter and they’ll go from 0 to 60 in two seconds and be ready to slash his tires. You calm them down, but the thought of revenge doesn’t totally leave your head. The Hospital Friend will be the voice of reason. But that Jail Friend, will sit back and wait for you to decide the course of action and be right there with you to do what’s necessary.
This friend’s trust in you is strong. They know you’ve got common sense, you know the consequences, but will still rally behind you like the army to the general.
Now the gotcha is that each of these friends doesn’t have to be a separate person. In fact, a good friend circle will have several of these roles played by the same person. Even further, bae should wear all these hats simultaneously. When you’ve got this kind of friends, life gets easier.